Showing posts with label Geeks Who Drink. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Geeks Who Drink. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Ode To Halle's Funbags

This is a poem inspired by a question in last night's Geeks Who Drink pub quiz about the movies Halle Berry has shown her ta-tas in. I wrote this for the accompanying blog.




Are you black or are you white?
Who gives a crap? Your breasts are tight.
Firm and supple, oh my Lord;
I think I might go overboard.
Wanking can be fun and all,
But not when it makes your wang all raw.
Thankfully the way to see
Your boobies, which have enchanted me
Is watching movies, bad trips like acid
That always make my knob grow flaccid.


--Gryffindork

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Geek Bowl V: A First-Timer's Perspective

As most of you know, I'm a quizmaster for Geeks Who Drink. Since I just earned this greatest of jobs last June, this was my first time experiencing the Super Bowl of geekiness, our annual Geek Bowl. I had heard rumblings of its greatness, however, and eagerly anticipated the new experience.

Never one to pass up the chance to make an ass of myself, I enthusiastically volunteered to be in this year's opening number when the chance arose. I initially auditioned for a part as one of the MCs, but there were far too many honkies trying to get their groove on, and my lack of seniority meant I was given a singing part instead. Other than moments in the shower, in the car, and around close friends that it's impossible to get embarrassed around (generally because they're too drunk or high to remember that crap anyway), I had never sung a word in my life. I was a bit nervous, to tell the truth, but when the hell else would I get a chance to sing on stage at the Fillmore? I threw myself into the task, memorizing the entire number in one mind-numbingly boring morning while working at the kennel I work at when I'm not busy being awesome.

My compatriots and I rehearsed off and on throughout the months of November, December, and January, and we had a great time doing so. I can't speak for anyone else, but I knew essentially none of my fellow quizmasters before rehearsals began (other than Kent, a regular at my quiz at the British Bulldog), so it was nice to rub elbows with my fellow geeks. I quickly learned to respect Jessica's Star Trek chops, as she corrected the lyrics about Jadzia Dax (not Jazdia Dax), and it became immediately apparent that Jeannette was four people's worth of fun rolled up into one, that Loki's mustache kicked ass, and that the universe revolves around Tavie.

Geeks Who Drink has been expanding steadily since I joined, and is now in 13 different states. While teams and quizmasters from every area weren't able to make it, we still had plenty of out-of-towners join us for the event, including quizmasters from Washington, Utah, New Mexico, and Texas. Many (all?) of them were in the opening number, which meant that rehearsal on Geek Bowl Eve was a whole new experience. In fact, the Texans had a couple of kick-ass dance numbers that they had clearly been working their butts off to perfect. I think it's safe to say that fun was had by all as we sang obscenities in the Unitarian Church we Coloradans had been rehearsing in for months.

The next day we all gathered at the Fillmore, waiting to get our dress rehearsal on. Unfortunately, the sound guys had smoked too much weed for breakfast (I assume), and we were forced to mill about for a couple of hours before getting the chance. This was cool, however, as this afforded us with further opportunities to get to know each other and for the smart people (read: not me) to leave and get some food. As the sound guys sobered up and everything came together, I learned my most important lesson of the day: it's a hell of a lot of fun having a live mic to play with.

Before we knew it, it was time to do our thing, and I gotta tell ya, it was a blast! I've never sung, acted or otherwise performed in front of people before (unless you count being a quizmaster or playing sports), and I can see how one could get to like it. It's exhilarating. Needless to say, the opening number was a big hit, in no small part due to Aaron Retka's lyrics and music.

Sadly, I was part of the data entry team, so I missed the majority of the actual quiz, but those of us in the scoring department had fun regardless, mostly because Sabra bought some seriously kick ass food (Sushi! Wings! Cheese! COOKIES!) for us to eat while locked away in the dungeon. Well, that and I brought my Firefly DVDs to watch when we had some spare moments. And I had the occasional opportunity to ascend into the auditorium for fresh air, where Jeanette and I serenaded the nearest teams with such classics as Bell Biv Devoe's "Poison" and Digital Underground's "Humpty Dance."

I missed out on the after party due to the fact that I had to work the next morning, but I can assure you that this will never happen again. I fully intend to hit the bar with my fellow QMs next year, and do my best to be a part of the reason that the hotel that houses our out-of-towners claims that we quizmasters are more riotous partiers than the Insane Clown Posse (this is not a joke; they actually said that).

Until then, I will satiate my desire for more Geek Bowl action with memories of this year's extravaganza. I hope to see you there next year!

For those of you who've been waiting to see my part in the opening number, the video is below. I'm the one in the beginning singing about Denver and Colorado, and doing the same at the end (in blue robes). And check out the official Geek Bowl V blog!

BEFORE YOU WATCH THE VIDEO: a little background info. Geeks Who Drink has a semi-friendly rivalry with Johnny Goodtimes, the owner of a not-as-good-as-Geeks trivia company from Philly. So when we sing about Philadelphia, we're referring to him. (He brings a team every year, and until this year, failed to place. Alas, he and the rest of Philly Ray Cyrus got 3rd this time around.)




--Gryffindork

Thursday, January 20, 2011

What Up, Home Skillet?

Welcome to Flotsam & Jetsam, my new blog.
I had a previous blog, but it fell by the wayside when I started working for Geeks Who Drink, the coolest pub quiz company on the planet (Geeks is in 13 states now, so check out the website to see if there's a pub quiz near you). If you don't know what a pub quiz is, well, it's like trivia, but cooler.
The point is that my blogging for Geeks tuckered me out, and left little time for my personal blog. But upon the advice of my bestest buddy, TheKevin, I'm taking a feature of my Geeks blogs, Flotsam & Jetsam, and super sizing it. I'll concentrate mostly on brief blurbs about whatever crosses my mind, but will occasionally write more lengthy entries as well. Whatever floats my boat. I might even import some of my old blog entries.
And as an added bonus,  TheKevin will be contributing to the blog as well, so Flotsam & Jetsam will have double the pleasure, double the fun! And hell, I might even hook up with other writers, too. We'll see how things go.
In the meantime, you can catch me here, on my pub quiz's blog at the Geeks website, and at the British Bulldog on Monday nights at 8.
Peace out, G-funk!


--Gryffindork